myIAKI // by GREG M

Thank you Jordan for thinking of me in regards to a short written piece on gratitude. I said I would absolutely write something, and immediately regretted it, as I usually do with commitments but I follow through on commitments these days. HEHE!

I admire your positivity and tenacity towards life and of course the father you are to your daughter. Sending you and your family good vibes on this New Years day.

Gratitude: The quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness within the practice of gratitude, happiness becomes more readily available.

We all strive for that, right? They seem to cultivate each other. Being thankful and counting your blessings draws so much optimism for the present moment and the forthcoming future. Gratitude and happiness intertwine. Not long ago, I had no business in thinking about either. Staying alive and out of trouble was hard enough. Flying out to California in 2018 with every intention on changing things for the better. I was high on fentanyl, xanax and methamphetamine, safe to say it was a pleasant flight. I was barely conscious throughout the trip, just as I’d spent the previous 16 years sporadically. I’d been on so many flights before. Passport stamped, with all the conviction within oneself, evading the inevitable, myself and the continuous mediocrity, setbacks and overwhelming despair of active addiction.

I draw from my past when it comes to my gratitude. Not being in prison celebrating another birthday in a treatment center for a quick breathe and a couple crumbs while I hide from life with no intention of getting clean or sober. I just needed a break from life.

I can’t fathom a life like that anymore, yet it’s never that far away. The evidence of a different story from the expressed pattern in which I’ve touched on is no more evident than writing about gratitude and its importance in my life on Christmas day in 2020. (sigh), what a year!

I wake up feeling grateful. Everyday writing a brief piece on what it is I’m grateful for amongst friends in a thread that has existed since I’d began making an honest step in the right direction. I simply cannot articulate or express in a satisfactory way just how important it’s been in my journey. I truly don’t miss a day practicing gratitude, all the anguish and suffering before is all the more reason and evidence for a grateful state of mind. Some things people wouldn’t even comprehend, or imagine themselves going through. I experienced, rightfully so I was reckless.

It’s this deep metaphorical well in which I source all the conflict of the past and joy for the present. My past certainly doesn’t need me anymore, but I needed my past to shape the man I am currently. I continue putting my best foot forward with a little gratitude in life, with just a small amount no matter the circumstances; an element of hope lives.

It’s invaluable and can’t be underestimated, subtle but well worth it. I encourage everyone to practice this in their lives and reap the rewards that I have been given. Wishing everyone  a Happy New Year.!

Greg M